Things Runners shouldn’t talk about (but do)

It’s been a great couple of months for me running wise.  I’ve felt fit, strong and above all, confident.  I have been working hard with my PT with strengthening my body and so far, so good.

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I have been struggling with the early morning sessions (yes I am prone to an 11 hour sleep) on a Sunday for training runs so decided to put the training back until 10am and this is working much better for me.

I’m still incorporating Body Balance into my training which is working well for stretching and doing so by using the Les Mills Interactive monthly plan. 

That’s enough small talk, let’s get down to business! There are a few things that most runners don’t like to talk about (I do, because I am gross and brutally honest). I run as a Fareham Crusader, so I get to chat to other runners A LOT!  Running isn’t glamorous (only if you spot the photographer in time).

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‘Quick, look happy, there’s a photographer!’

Things you’re not supposed to talk about as a runner…

Snot Rockets

I’m so sorry Jane (my marathon training partner), I am awful at this.  You don’t know what this is?  Yeah right!!! So you can only do this when you are running outside.  If you try it in a gym on the treadmill, you may get thrown out.  It’s pretty much when you are bunged up and you clear one nostril at a time, you get my drift.  Don’t be that guy (yes you, runner at Fareham Parkrun) who did this whilst running and I was running behind you.  It’s very antisocial. There are actually videos online to perfecting the perfect snot rocket.  Fill your boots.

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Instructions for the perfect ‘snot rocket’

Runners Trots

My running friends all know how delicate my stomach is.  I have been known to have ducked into pubs, public loos and even bushes on particularly awkward runs.  When you’ve gotta go, you’ve gotta go.  Funny for me, but not so funny for others who have suffered or perhaps for new runners; this may come as a bit of a shock.  I also know some runners who have really weak bladders and have had to go mid race as they’ve not got to a loo in time… a taboo topic..but it’s more common than you think.

Paula

Even elite runners get caught short..

Bra Rub / Chaffing

I wasn’t blessed with vol-au-vents for boobs and so I get serious bra rub, regardless of what bra/s I wear (Vaseline is my friend).  I’m actually scarred from the number of chaffing wounds I have.  I’m still on the search for the perfect running bra. The longer the run, the more this force begins to stalk its victims. For some, it presents as a slight discomfort, for others, it can be really quite uncomfortable and can really affect your run..

OCD

Oh you’ve only ran 4.89?!  You had better run up and down your road at least 6 times, just enough for the neighbours to think you have finally lost the plot.

Dry Skin

My face has been like sandpaper this winter. I have been using emu oil and vaseline to lather my face from the elements which have been harsh. Runners are prone to skin problems due to the damaging elements like cold, sunlight, and infection. As I am a sufferer of skin cancer, i have to wear a really high factor in the summer.

Asthma in the cold / warm months

I have had my asthma under control for the last year probably because I didn’t end up with pneumonia again for the third time.  You can find out more about running with asthma here

Buff

Black toe nails / No toe nails

Us runners take pride in showing off our manky feet.  Yep, we’re damn proud of how calloused, rough, and mangled our feet are. It just goes to show how much time we put into training. Our feet wouldn’t be this ugly without all the miles we put in. You see, it’s our badge of honour! I draw the line at putting pictures up on social media of a missing toe nail. Too much information people! 🙂

 

Relationships

Goodbye all night raves and barhopping – unfortunately these do not work well with your training plan.  Any runners is aware that they are lucky for any support that they get.  Its really important to thank those supportive, awesome people who are watching your race, waiting for you at the finish line, or for me, looking after Marley Moo (my dog).  My parents are just around the corner and are really supportive and so I am very grateful for that.

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Marley Moo – ‘She’s off running again’

Blisters

Sometimes, they form because of too much sweat. Sometimes, it’s because there’s something in our shoes that’s causing unwanted friction. It may be because of new shoes.  Chances are, if you’re a runner, you have had a blister of some sort.  Us runners like to brag about our blisters, hell, sometimes it turns into a competition – who has the largest and most disgusting blister.  No doubt, there will be that runner who has taken a picture of their blister.  Us runners can be dirty buggers..

Of course, there are lots of positives about running which we DO talk about! A lot! These really do outweigh the above, though I’m yet to find a man who will give me a foot rub..

May your miles be long and your injuries few

Kezza xx

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