Well, my 40th Birthday has been and gone and I find myself calm. Surprisingly calm. I felt more anxiety saying goodbye to my 20s than I did to my 30s. Perhaps I’m ok with it because I keep being told I don’t look my age. Why am I feeling surprisingly ok (ish) about my big 4.0? Perhaps it’s because I ride the hell out of life… and that I came to realise in my thirties that ‘this is it’. This is life. In my 20’s, I lived in a never ending quest of looking for the next buzz…. Constantly looking for that high. I have come to realise that life isn’t like that. Life plods along… you get the highs and you get the lows but ultimately I am happy with my lot. As a wise person once said, we should “not regret growing older; it’s a privilege denied to many.”
Whilst I can’t eat as much as I used to without gaining a few pounds and my boobs are swinging a little bit lower, my head is held a wee bit higher. My skin has stretched and my clothes keep shrinking in the wash, but hell yeah I feel comfortable with it. I feel good and proud about my achievements and the choices I have made as well as making sure i surround myself with amazing people. As the lines on my face grow deeper, so do my relationships. Each moment of awe, each belly laugh has made its mark on my face and in my heart — and I wouldn’t erase a single one.
Why should it matter? I don’t feel 40, but when I turned 30, I didn’t feel that, either. I don’t know what it is supposed to feel like but why should I even spend time worrying about it? In fact, even our biological changes are pretty inconsistent. There are twenty-year-olds who suffer from serious illness. There are forty-year-olds in perfect health. There are twenty-year-olds with grey hair. There are forty-year-olds with six-pack abs. There are thirty-year-olds who run five miles every morning; there are thirty-year-olds who are unable to do a single sit-up.
I’ve still got a lot to learn. A. LOT. But this is what I have learnt so far…
- I can’t please everybody but I can be kind to everybody
- Make people feel great about themselves.
- Spending time with loved ones is a PRIVILEGE (denied to many)
- I know what I want, and who matters (and who doesn’t!)
- You can be the ripest peach in the bowl but there will always be someone who doesn’t like peaches.
- Life isn’t a popularity contest.
- Spend your life on experiences, not things.
- Respect mother nature
- Wear sensible shoes (I NEVER would have said this in my 20’s)
- Look after your back.
- Get enough sleep
- Read books!
- Stop fretting about what people think about you – most of the time they are not even thinking about you anyways!
- Make time for your friends.
- Let it go.
- Weddings and babies bring out the best – and the worst in people….
- Support other women in their successes. Mentor younger women
- Be inspiring
- Run, but listen to your body
- Stop chasing perfection
- Treasure your parents
- Listen to your body and your gut instinct. It’s usually right.
- Create your own luck
- Work hard
- Fill your life with the experiences that you love and you will see your life start to change
- Return everything you borrow
- Give clothes you don’t wear to a charity
- Do something nice and try not to get caught
- Strive for excellence, not perfection
- Be on time
- Be kind to unkind people
- Take time to be alone
- Not everyone likes babies and children
- Not everyone likes puppies and dogs
- Remembering the 5-year rule – if it won’t matter in 5 years…move on.
- Don’t drop friends for boys…
- A bad boy will always stay just that.
- Your sisters are probably your most loyal friends
- Your mother always knows the score
- Wild hair (and people) can never be tamed.
- Paradise won’t always be home
- People come and go and it has absolutely nothing to do with what you did.
- Sing & Dance – it burns calories
- A good cuppa makes any problem seem so much smaller
- Your best friend doesn’t have to live around the corner
- Neither does your best friend always come in the human form. Woof.
- Try a new hobby every year…go on! you might like it!
- Sometimes there is no point trying to understand people. (My motto is ‘trying to understand some people is like picking up a shitty stick from the clean end)
- Don’t use your phone at the dinner table.
- The sun gives you skin cancer
- Use factor 50
- People are obsessed with age.
- Never adhere to society in what you should be doing at 21, 30, 40 etc etc BORING
I am feeling excited as to what my 40’s will bring. A new era.. full of new adventures! Come join me….